Yesterday I Cried

I came home, went straight to my room, sat on the edge of my bed, kicked off my shoes, took off my coat, and I had myself a good cry.

I’m telling you, I cried until my nose was running all over the [...]]]> Disclaimer- I don’t necessarily agree with this author’s chosen lifestyle but I do love this poem she wrote.

Yesterday I Cried

I came home, went straight to my room,
sat on the edge of my bed,
kicked off my shoes,
took off my coat,
and I had myself a good cry.

I’m telling you,
I cried until my nose was running all over
the silk blouse I got on sale.
I cried until my ears were hot.
I cried until my head was hurting so bad
that I could hardly see the pile of
soiled tissues lying on the floor at my feet.

I want you to understand,
I had myself a really good cry yesterday.

Yesterday, I cried,
for all the days that I was too busy,
or too tired,
or too mad to cry.

I cried for all the days, and all the ways,
and all the times I had dishonored,
disrespected, and
disconnected my Self from myself,
only to have it reflected back to me
in the ways others did to me
the same things I had already done to myself.

I cried for all the things I had given,
only to have them stolen;
for all the things I had asked for that
had yet to show up;
for all the things I had accomplished,
only to give them away,
to people in circumstances,
which left me feeling empty,
and battered and plain old used.

I cried because there really does
come a time when the only thing left
for you to do is cry.

Yesterday, I cried.
I cried because little boys get
left by their daddies;
and little girls get forgotten by their mommies;
and daddies don’t know what to do, so they leave;
and mommies get left, so they get mad.

I cried because I had a little boy,
and because I was a little girl,
and because I was a mommy
who didn’t know what to do,
and because I wanted my daddy to be there
for me so badly until I ached.

Yesterday, I cried.
I cried because I hurt.
I cried because I was hurt.
I cried because hurt has no place to go
except deeper into the pain that
caused it in the first place,
and when it gets there,
the hurt wakes you up.

I cried because it was too late.
I cried because it was time.

I cried because my soul knew that I didn’t know
that my soul knew everything I needed to know.

I cried a soulful cry yesterday,
and it felt so good.

It felt so very, very bad.

In the midst of my crying,
I felt my freedom coming,
Because Yesterday,
I cried with an agenda.

~Iyanla Vanzant

A sliced Carrot looks like the human eye The pupil, iris and radiating lines look just like the human eye… and YES science now shows that carrots greatly enhance blood flow to and the function of the eyes. A Tomato has four chambers and is red. The Heart is red and has four [...]]]>

A sliced Carrot looks like the human eye The pupil,
iris and radiating lines look just like the human
eye…
and YES science now shows that carrots greatly enhance
blood flow to and the function of the eyes.

A Tomato has four chambers and is red. The Heart is
red and has four chambers.
All of the research shows tomatoes are indeed pure
heart and blood food.

Grapes hang in a cluster that has the shape of the
heart. Each grape looks like a blood cell and all of
the research today shows that grapes are also profound
heart and blood vitalizing food.

A Walnut looks like a little brain, a left and right
hemisphere, upper cerebrums and lower cerebellums.
Even the wrinkles or folds are on the nut just like
the neo-cortex. We now know that walnuts help develop
over 3 dozen neuron-transmitters for brain function.

Kidney Beans actually heal and help maintain kidney
function and yes, they look exactly like the human
kidneys.

Celery, Bok Choy, Rhubarb and more look just like
bones. These foods specifically target bone strength.
Bones are 23% sodium and these foods are 23% sodium.
If you don’t have enough sodium in your diet the body
pulls it from the bones, making them weak. These foods
replenish the skeletal needs of the body.

Eggplant, Avocadoes and Pears target the health and
function of the womb and cervix of the female - they
look just like these organs. Today’s research shows
that when a woman eats 1 avocado a week, it balances
hormones, sheds unwanted birth weight and prevents
cervical cancers. And how profound is this? ….
It takes exactly 9 months to grow an avocado from
blossom to ripened fruit.

There are over 14,000 photolytic chemical constituents
of nutrition in each one of these foods (modern
science has only studied and named about 141 of them).

Figs are full of seeds and hang in twos when they
grow. Figs increase the motility of male sperm and
increase the numbers of sperm as well to overcome male
sterility.

Sweet Potatoes look like the pancreas and actually
balance the glycemic index of diabetics.

Olives assist the health and function of the ovaries.

Onions look like body cells. Today’s research shows
that onions help clear waste materials from all of the
body cells.
They even produce tears which wash the epithelial
layers of the eyes.

And someone will read all this from above and still say there is no God???

Have a great day!!!

I’m not a doctor or nurse so I’m writing strictly from my own experiences. A few things I    have noticed about being menopausal:

~Anxiety can be worse than your worst nightmare! There’s such a fine line in the feelings involved in that and the symptoms of a heart attack. ~Energy seems non-existent at times. ~Sleep, what’s that? ~Hot flashes [...]]]>

I’m not a doctor or nurse so I’m writing strictly from my own experiences. A few things I    have noticed about being menopausal:

~Anxiety can be worse than your worst nightmare! There’s such a fine line in the feelings involved in that and the symptoms of a heart attack.
~Energy seems non-existent at times.
~Sleep, what’s that?
~Hot flashes — my sisters have them but I’ve never experienced that.
~I have had night sweats one time and I thought someone stuck hot coals in my bed one second and ice cubes the next! It’s not a feeling I ever want to have again. This was also the first clue I had that I was going into this phase of my life.

I can’t really complain about any of these things but I do admit that the anxiety has been the worst thing for me and with my lack of self-confidence at times, it can really do a number on me. I’ve been told that being me would suck, and it does at times…isn’t it that way for us all at times whether we’re menopausal or not? I love who I am, the woman God has brought me into, but I have feelings of hatred for how I react to things, situations, etc.

I am looking forward to the next phase of my life, if God so chooses for me to have a next one, I’m pretty excited about turning 50 in another year and a half. I want to start my own charter for the Red Hat Society…simply because I love hats! Who knows maybe one of these days I’ll even have a pretty hat and go to Derby day instead of wishing to be there and watching all the events on tv.

Fifty will be a good age to be; my youngest daughter will be finishing high school, my oldest daughter will be 30 and her oldest daughter will be 10…we’ll all be reaching milestones in our lives at the same time and that will be grand! Even though it’s been a very rough morning for me today I look forward to the future and know that all will not be lost because in knowing there’s wisdom and that keeps me hopeful. One more thing…resist the urge to give me advice on taking hormones…thank you but I won’t do it.   I pray you all have a wonderful day.

Introduction: Trusted Everywhere (Duracell Batteries) Easy Week. It was supposed to be Nancy’s [...]]]>

Memory Verse: Genesis 20:13 and it came about, when God caused me to wander from my father’s house, that I said to her, ‘This is the kindness which you will show to me: everywhere we go, say of me, “He is my brother.’””

Introduction: Trusted Everywhere (Duracell Batteries) Easy Week. It was supposed to be Nancy’s week, she had planned on posting a simple assignment, but she’s gone, and her assignment isn’t here. So.. Because Nancy is traveling, I thought we’d talk about Everywhere, or Anywhere.

Assignment: Where have you been?  Where have you traveled?  What was the purpose of your trip?

Here’s mine:

Thank you Sombra for covering for me!  You’re the BEST!!!  For my assignment I wanted to write about some of my childhood travels.  Our lives outside of school were like a living field trip when I was growing up.  My father was in the Marines for 30 years and we traveled because of his work.   After his retirement and we thought we’d finally be able to settle down but he was feeling the call to preach, so he went to Theological Seminary school and we traveled just as much then.  Even throughout the years of being transferred from one town or state to another our family loved to travel.

I remember the biggest and longest trip we went on.  We traveled from Beaufort, SC to Nova Scotia, Canada.  Another family traveled with us so we had tailgated along the way. I don’t remember that trip ever feeling like it was uncomfortable to be in the car for all those long hours.  I remember it being days that we traveled because we stopped along the way.  We went to the Washington DC zoo and I remember riding on one of those giant turtles…that’s funny that I remember that because I was always so afraid of doing anything new. Fear never stopped me much back then and I would guess that’s because I had a lot of encouragement from my brothers and sisters and my parents.  After leaving we drove to NYC and went through the Lincoln Tunnel.  I don’t remember if that was the first tunnel I had ever gone through or not, but it’s highly doubtful.  I remember all the cars around us and their horns blowing for the entire length of the tunnel…something we still do!  After leaving NYC we drove up to Maine and from their boarded a ferry boat called the Blue Noser.  It was an 8-10 hour ride and all the kids LOVED every minute of it!~  We had lots of fun laughing at everyone puking on the tail end of the boat…just running and telling my mom about it got her started too.  That ferry ride was probably the most fun I’ve ever had in my life and I’d love to do it again with my daughters, grandchildren and husband and son-in-law.

Once we got to Nova Scotia, I don’t have a clue who it was we stayed with but we sure had fun!  We climbed the cliffs on the edge of the ocean and visited some prison for some really strange reason!  Remember the movie Scared Straight, well I was only 9 and much too frail to have ever gone against my parents wishes, but that’s what it felt like.  I had really long hair and one of the prisoners kept trying to grab my hair. My sisters and I often wonder what in the world made our dad take us into a place like that.  I remember eating lots of lobster, shrimp and crab during the month we were there.

I could go on forever about that trip.  It was the best time of my life and I’m trying really hard to create the same loving and warm memories for my daughters.  I don’t have pictures…sorry.  Have a blessed weekend~

I feel lately like I’ve been doing many hard things.  A lot of emotional stuff going on in my life has really brought on some sleepless nights and worrisome days.  At the same time a lot of great and exciting things have been going on too.  I’ve prayed for a long [...]]]> When God Closes a Door…

I feel lately like I’ve been doing many hard things.  A lot of emotional stuff going on in my life has really brought on some sleepless nights and worrisome days.  At the same time a lot of great and exciting things have been going on too.  I’ve prayed for a long time for God to give me some direction in my life, a sign or symbol…I know those things won’t physically happen but through a chain of events he’s shown people to me and led me to a whole new season in my life.  Every thing, every thought within me is screaming ARISE and so, I AM!!

At the same time all the happy things are happening in my life there are also sad things tearing me apart inside.  My heart aches tremendously for special and wonderful people in my life.  One is going through a horrible time, a separation and eventually a divorce.  She’s letting go of not only her lifelong marriage but her passion in homeschooling.  She’s worked diligently for many years and devoted her life and her family’s lives to incorporating a homeschool group so that families like mine and all the ones I know would have a place of peace and contentment, a place where no one questions if you’re crazy for home education.  I trust her decisions and every thing she’s built upon for the last 11 or more years.  I respect her immensely.  My heart aches for her and I wish I could just take her pain so she and her family would not have to go through this time.  I know God’s will is to be done in her life though and her love of our Lord will carry her through.

My dearest friend Carol is still very sick and having problems with her heart again.  It’s really burdened me lately, to the point of having to accept that she will be gone from this earth someday.    I’ve never known the friendship of a woman, other than that which grew within me for my mother.  Carol is every woman to me…she’s been the role model of a mother, an older sister, a mentor, but  mostly she’s been a friend.  If walls could talk…the stories we could tell!  Carol came into my life at a time when I was alone and raising a very sick little daughter.  Our friendship was immediate and so necessary in both our lives.  We’ve spent many years laughing heartily and crying intensely together when it was needed.  Nine years have come and gone and Carol has seen me in the best and the worst of times.  It seems sometimes that we only met yesterday.  If you can find it in your heart I would ask your prayers for my wonderful friend.  Here’s a picture of us together last year:

Another hard thing I’ve had to do lately is to post the finale of Blogger Friend School on that website.  It was something that one day I knew would have to happen but not something I am very happy about.  The season for this meme ran for over 3 years and the devil fought us all the way through.  It never ceases to amaze me what some people will do to gain numbers for the ‘bragging rights’ on their own blog(s).  It’s a cruel thing to take something that someone loves and cherishes and destroys it for their own selfish reasons.  Even so, I have to be loving and forgiving in the name of the Lord.  I can’t help but wonder, do you think people will really answer for all their wrongdoings when their time on earth has ended?  I know the Bible says they will, so for now I will continue to pray for them!

I guess that’s enough about my ‘hard things’ because out of all that, I have finally found direction for my life and happyness…you wonder why I spell that wrong?  Watch the movie, Pursuit of Happyness with Will Smith~!  Beware of some unpleasant language.  God has blessed me with meeting some wonderful people this week and so with that….

He Opens a Window!